Who knows

if anyone reads these. Hah, some part of me, actually a huge part of me hopes someone does.
Today, I woke up Dan's arms and I've never felt more amazing. Despite my medical situations right now that keep me in immense pain at the moment, I just looked at this amazing person, kissed his face and thought how lucky I am to have him wrapped around me. What's worse, is that every time I talk to him, or think about him, I get those obnoxious butterflies in my stomach.

In other news, I have no idea what's going on in my life besides him. Actually, now that I realize it, thank God for him, because without him, and a few other select friends (C,J,D), I'd probably be in a mental breakdown right now. They're pretty much the only thing I'm sure about...

And I know that I'm going to leave soon....
As current endeavors close, the "C" word unfortunately becomes the primary picture.
And as much as I told myself I'd tough it out, I fear that my page won't turn that way....
I don't want to leave him behind, but I'm terrified that I'll have to.


Please God, no.

You're all that I hoped I'd find.

I'm really tired.. I really think I have some disease or something, I dunno.
I got this piano today, and I've been playing Miserable at Best for the past hour or so, I pick up things pretty fast.
I'm gonna try my routine again, and hope I don't feel pain again :[
but no one will understand what that means.
Trust me, no one.


Don't let this go,
whoa
because you know I'm dying to let it show
wha-o
for every little thing that it's worth
I'm doing my best to break you from your comfort
because I know how much you'd love to leave this town behind.

and for the record

I'm going back to the start
when everything was right, and every word was meant to be said
and in my head, I wrote down the most fulfilling of my language
to compare and contrast to the strangest of feelings I've ever felt.

and I swear that this will come out alright
because I'm taking my last hopes and throwing them to fire
I've got these pens and ideas and endless phrases
metaphors and rambling stages
of sentences, I pray convey my childish hopes of praises.

he's got it right, we're not in it for the best
we've all got our hopes and promises
of what we're meant to be, what we swear you'll see
if you just give us a chance, I swear you'll be impressed.

And I know, I've said this once before
while sprawled out on your bedroom floor
the sky's the limit, don't ever stop it
you've got it, kid, you've got it
deep inside your lungs and throat,
this air is screaming to give it hope
to show that you've got this message, please God, it's got to give.
because this screaming is my cheap street medicine.

oy vey

mom just yelled at me for borrowing her face soap.

good to see the little things in life don't get to her.

I just don't know

what I want anymore.
I try so hard
for the things that make me happy
so fucking hard
to make everything okay for everyone
and then when something doesn't go right,
I feel like it's my fault.

I kind of wish it was my fault, so I could correct it
but when it's not my fault,
and there's nothing I can do to change the way people feel about something
I feel utterly helpless.

I wish I could save the world
But for now, I'm left... watching it fall.

Funny how..

I've met this boy.
The beginning couldn't have been more rough.
My afternoons were stressed and my nights were unsettled.
He'd always be on my thoughts and every message would make me smile.
It took me a while to break down his wall, and eventually I gave up and moved on.
But even when my head was looking somewhere else, he was still in my heart, refusing to leave.
So I fought, back and forth, with myself.
I knew it was wrong, he didn't deserve my time.
But he got it back anyway.

And now, I see the same boy in a different light.
Something soft and sincere,
I don't know how we got here, but I know I don't want to leave.
I'm afraid to admit this, to anyone, at all.
but only one other person has given me this pounding in my chest before.
and now I know there's a reason I'm in this.
Because I'm sure that without you.
...I'm not giving this away.




You've introduced me to the moment
oh but I'm looking to stay for good.
You asked me to stay forever.
Well, you know that I would, I would do anything.


<3d

Lolz

Let's get this started
I'm locked and loaded and you're the target
New Jersey, let's see, throw your hands in the air, sing as loud as you can sing.
all my friends will be backing me, so go tell your crew to grab everything
and meet me on the scene next to your outline in chalk drawn on the street.

the things that you have been offering, don't stand a chance
don't touch this melody, you'll see

I'm open for taking, these pills calm my shaking
my thoughts aren't the same but they keep me from making mistakes
that were breaking, all the things I wish that you were taking

the chance you had to save me

and not for nothing, I'll figure this one out on my own
and not to mention the words that you said
or anything involving the sheets, the sex, the bed.

and I'm starting to think that it all just might blow over.

I'm sorry for the beating your team is taking.

Autotune's turned up to keep your voice in balance
I've got your girl, a bass and talent
oh no, things could get ugly.

.................

It's official..

Daniel Joseph Hubner's a genius.

thank God

i was wrong.
it's never felt so good.
haha today, washing dishes with matthew, I told him, true freedom is freedom from what you want.

your wants enslave you, make you do anything to get it, you feel like you can't say no

true freedom is saying no to what you want, and now i know what freedom feels like

honest to God, rain has never felt so clean.

thanks for making it clear where I need to be.
I've never fallen asleep so happy before.

.....goddamnit....

tell me I'm wrong.
please, for the love of God.
because if that's about me,
I promise you tears.

And I thought to myself...

Lightening+ Rain+ 9:30 pm+ Cartel= a whole new world

try it sometime, you'll love life again.

EP came out.
So happy.


Hello world, I'm ready to live again.

<3lace

God Damn Facebook Horoscopes

Courtney will be the first to agree with me, that Facebook has everything right these days!

A few days ago, my horoscope said something like "The thing you've been waiting a really long time for is finally here and better than you ever expected"

Guessss what came?? OUR EP

the final mixed and edited version is finally here and I drove around New Jersey last night at 1 in the morning with Apples, listening to it.

So proud. It's awesome, I'm so happy with how it turned out.

AND not to mention, our new myspace layout is ballin' too! haha hilarious rightt?

I'm going to shower, I smell like deli meats.

Ew.

<3lace

Out of the basement, onto the dancefloor

Go read the new issue of AP, it's a goodie. Also, the fact that I want to marry Gabe from CSS doesn't really support my case, but go read it anyway.

I was feeling really off the past few days, and yesterday, I sat down and wrote some lyrics that I'm ridiculously proud of. Especially with the right melody and flow, they could do serious damage. I hope AJ's happy. He's gay :P <3

That's why I'm so excited to record these new songs with Rob Freeman in the next month. The songs we've been writing are spectacular, and my lyrics compliment them like a fedora to your best pair of shoes. With the CD being released this month, FINALLY, and new stuff with the band coming, and recording with Rob, I'm feeling things are looking up and brighter than lately.

And Ron and I are going to be starting video updates too, which will add to the surprises coming in the next few weeks. Reallyyy excited :].
I'm hungry... I've lost about 5 pounds the past few weeks... haha Running ftw.

Oh, adventure Friday, here we comeee.


<3lace